Ultimate Self (realizing personal potential)

Self-sabotaging beliefs

As we saw in The Power of Beliefs, when we believe something, even something that is untrue, we give it the power of fact. Many people embrace a range of beliefs that sabotage their lives, relationships, and peace of mind. The most common self-sabotaging beliefs are:

I do not deserve love/compliments/success/attention etc.

Or, I deserve adoration from everyone.

I am less worthy than other people.

Or, I am better than everyone else.

I am not enough as I am (not smart enough, attractive enough, thin enough etc).

Or, I am so perfect that there is no room for improvement.

If other people are unhappy it is my responsibility to make them feel better.

If other people have problems I must do whatever I can to solve them.

It is selfish to put my own needs first.

Or, my own needs are the only ones that matter.

It is egotistical to love myself.

Or, I should only love myself and no one else.

If I succeed or achieve, others will hate me and think I am arrogant.

Or, if I don’t succeed and achieve I am worthless.

I must make myself seem ‘small’ or others will want to ‘cut’ me down to size.

Or, I must wear a social mask of invincibility and/or power.

If I stand up for myself people will think I am aggressive and disagreeable and won’t like me.

Or, if I compromise or let anyone else have their way then I am weak and they have power over me.

It is wrong to make mistakes.

I can predict the future based on the past so the future will be just like the unsatisfactory past.

There’s no point trying because I will only fail.

There’s nothing I can do to improve my life. I am a victim (of an unhappy childhood, relationship, work environment, circumstances, etc).

All these beliefs are just that - beliefs, theories that we have accepted as real without logically testing them. Mostly they come about through taking on board the opinions and reactions of the important people from our childhood. And many of those opinions and reactions were faulty. Take my word for it that most of the above beliefs are almost certainly false. Don’t let erroneous notions cripple you. When you catch yourself acting on self-sabotaging beliefs confront and challenge them and assert their opposite until they lose their power.

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