Confidence boosters
To increase a sense of confidence and positive self-esteem try the following:
- We only see other peoples’ surface image or social mask so it’s easy to forget, or even fail to recognize at all, that those who seem so much more confident and successful than ourselves are just as fallibly human. Everyone has misfortunes, weakness and flaws and because we know our own so well we can tend to think we are somehow ‘less’ that other people who seem to be free of our particular problems and shortcomings. Don’t judge your entire life and personality by comparing yourself to other people’s surface image. You have no idea what lies behind that image. Your ‘perfect’ neighbour may be a battered wife, your successful boss might be an embezzler, your well-healed friend could be drowning in debt. You can’t make comparisons without all the facts and it’s impossible to know all the facts of anyone else’s life.
- Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Banish all ideas and expectations of perfection. No one is perfect—good enough is just fine.
- Whether you are talking to other people or talking to yourself (your internal self-talk) use positive, encouraging and affirmative language. Don’t let yourself get mired in criticism, gossip, or negativity. The old adage has it right: ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’
- Give yourself some positive self-talk:
- ”I am loved, I love myself, I am competent, worthwhile, important.”
- “I am as good as anyone else.”
- “When things go wrong it is not a disaster but a challenge or even an opportunity.”
- “I can and will choose to be happy.”
- “I can and will choose to stop thinking negatively about myself.”
- “I will make my own destiny through my own effort and choices.”
- “I am strong and can rely on myself.”
- “It is not the end of the world if people disappoint or hurt me. I can handle it.”
- “My past may not have been all that I would have liked but it is a source of information that I can use to build a better future.”
- Smile, often. When you smile you let people know that you are OK and that they are OK. And you feel better.
- Get active. The more you do the more competent you feel, and competence leads to confidence.
- Start a self-development plan. If there are things you want to improve, set goals and develop a set of steps to achieve it, then systematically work through them.
- Learn something new. At the beginning it can be a struggle to learn a new skill or subject but once we grasp it, our confidence level and self-esteem soar. To start with, choose something that really interests you and that is not too demanding.
- Set your own standards and do the best to live up to them. If they aren’t the same as other peoples’ then that is just too bad.
- Say ‘thank you’, often, compliment people, give others a helping hand.
- Walk tall. Hold your head high.
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