Ultimate Self (realizing personal potential)

Changing negative core beliefs

Core beliefs are our essential, often unconscious beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. They can be positive or negative and are the mental framework that supports our thoughts, values and perceptions. They filter and direct the information we receive from the world, evaluate it, and apply a meaning to it. Our core beliefs influence us on a subconscious level.

As we have seen in The Power of Beliefs, the things we believe, especially about ourselves, have incredible power over our lives. So if we have negative beliefs, they are likely to sabotage us until we change them. Core beliefs are learned so it is possible to learn new ones and change damaging ones.

If you examine your beliefs and find that many of them are negative, then you can help to change them by:

Questioning your beliefs-are they valid, true, correct?

Asking why you believe a thing-where did the belief come from and what fed it?

Examining what evidence there is to support or refute the belief.

Being patient – beliefs usually take time to develop and time to change.

Asking are the beliefs based on facts or merely things that you perceive as fact? For example, if you have the belief that confrontation will lead people to hate or reject you, is that really a fact or is it something you have assumed because as a child a raging or intimidating parent ‘taught’ you that confrontation was dangerous?

Recognizing that if the information we receive from others matches a negative core belief then it magnifies it and makes it stronger, harder to change, and its influence increases. So it is important to avoid anything that reinforces the negative. For example, keep away from people who criticize, belittle, discount, condescend, patronize, insult, discourage or label you negatively. If you believe the world is a dangerous place and are inhibited by fear as a result, avoid news reports of murder, disasters and mayhem.

Keeping a ‘positive’ journal in which you write down every compliment, achievement, success and positive piece of information you receive. Then take time each week to reread what you have written.

Coming up with a sentence to counter the negative belief and repeating it regularly. You don’t even have to believe it but if you repeat it constantly it will eventually have an influence on your mind.

Having a list of positive mantras that you repeat to yourself frequently, such as: I can do it. I’m as good as anyone. Neutralize the negative with a positive. Whatever the belief is, counter with its exact opposite. So if you believe you are worthless constantly tell yourself you are valuable.

Pretending you are a champion debater and arguing a case for the positive (or opposite of your negative belief) and arguing against the negative (in as witty a way as you can so that you demolish the logic of it).

Putting together a list of pros and cons. What is this belief costing you, what are its drawbacks and what, if anything, do you gain from it. Is this belief worth having?

Being alert to what you are thinking and saying to yourself. Often negatives become a habit, automatically ruling us without us even being aware of it. Question what you are thinking, saying and doing and why.

Really analysing the belief. What does it actually mean? If you believe for example, that you are no good at anything, think about what those words really mean. What does “good at” mean, what do you do that is so inadequate, what are other people so “good at”, what do you want to be “good at”, what things have you succeeded at? Are you being too critical? Do you apply the same standards to other people or just yourself?

Pretending someone else has your problem. It’s often easier to see things more clearly when they apply to someone other than ourselves. Pretend that a friend has the same negative belief you do and you want to help them overcome it. How would you convince them it is wrong? How would you encourage them to let it go?