Breaking bad habits
A habit is a learned reaction or response. It is something we have done so often that it has become automatic. We don’t have to make a decision or think about what we are doing, we just do it - we are on automatic pilot.
Habits can be very convenient. Imagine if you had to think about and decide every single thing you did every day - what shoe you put on first, where you would put your car keys, which route you would take to work. It would be exhausting.
In fact, around 95% of of our responses (both physical and emotional) are habitual! In other words, for better or worse, the majority of our lives are lived without us actually thinking much about what we do, think, or feel.
Habit can be a friend, a nuisance, an embarrassment, or an enemy, and sometimes a fatal enemy. Thousands of people die every day from the effects of smoking, alcohol and drug use, and overeating, which, no matter what else they may be, are also bad habits.
So whether it is biting our finger nails, telling ourselves we are worthless, associating with people who treat us badly, eat too much, gamble more than we can afford, or anything else that is doing us damage or is not in our best interests, we can change such bad habits if we really want to.
We need to assert our will by making a conscious decision to change, deciding on a new behaviour, feeling, or thought, and then putting that new replacement response into practice every time.
In the beginning, this requires constant effort and watchfulness so that we don’t automatically slip back into our old ways. We need to concentrate and make learning the new habit a major priority. You might need help, from a support group for example, or from something as simple as reminder notes to yourself.
The secret of creating a new habit is repetition, doing the new thing over and over. As the new pattern becomes more thoroughly learned change will become easier. The first month is almost always the hardest because persistent vigilance is essential, but once the new response is constantly repeated and learned it will become a habit and replace the old, bad habit.
If you are feeling discouraged remind yourself of all the millions of people who manage to give up smoking, lose weight, leave abusive relationships, motivate themselves and turn their lives around by choosing to live differently than they did in the past.
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See related articles: Motivation, Changing reality.
